Sunday, July 26, 2015

My Daughter

I am so proud of the woman my daughter is growing to be....with her permission, I am sharing her poem/spoken art. She already has a strong voice and is much wiser than I was at her age (she is 20)

Eggshells
Just because the roots aren’t visible doesnt mean they’re not growing 
you can never judge depth with only the surface showing
you cant see the dark part when the star is always glowing
go and find out how you feel when your feelings start exploding
the clothing never did keep my soul from feeling naked
the makeup never covered up the want to numb my passion
cause the pride i felt inside would try to blind me by distracting
a reality with fallacies that drowned me in the making
but a heart is never vacant if it learns to keep a craving 
for a love thats strictly given and prohibited from taking
a bond that money couldn’t buy with any kind of savings
a love that is immeasurable by any kind of rating
so i thought, but then the truth proved thoughts can be deceiving
when the only time you dream is parallel to when you're sleeping
i never did carry the love that you needed,
i believed that i could conquer the battle in your mind,
but half the time i felt like you were satisfied when i was bleeding
you wanted me unwise so i would turn to you for teachings
but theres one thing that you gave me, i know better i know bull shit
no single human soul can save me, it won’t make me feel the fullest
im not meant to feel degraded or unworthy or uncertain
with my hand among my heart i know exactly where my worth is
im not meant to feel objectified, I’m not for sale or purchase
i have no preference or type, because equally deserving
 went downtown to see the scene, i let my eyes record it all
it was a beautiful disaster, i was blessed to be involved
the day right after marriage rights, finally got resolved
love was finally freed from prison, it was finally one for all
i felt faith and i felt hope, until i started walking home
i saw a woman all alone, on the corner of the street
she looked cold and beaten down, she had bruises on her feet
i asked her what she needs and why she looked full of defeat
she stared at me right through her bruised and swollen up eye
she began to recite all the power in her mind she said
beautiful child, tame your holocaust inside
deny any form of fire, it's not a force to be played with
just as love is not a synonym for a form of enslavement
i was idolized and shot with pride i looked to him for my foundation
he spoke of a love that could’ve been a best seller
he told me not to be frantic because god knew what he was doing
god was happy he pursued me, he said it might seem quite confusing
but we're meant to be together
young and insecure, i was ignorant and blinded
so i hopped inside beside him and told him that i'd be riding
all my frightening thoughts were gone and before long the sun was shining
then the colds they came back out so full of thunder, full of lighting
he walked right up and touched me, his hand placed on my cheek
said no man should have your body till your finger has a ring
making love is not a hobby its a bonding type of thing
so for now just keep your clothes on till the bond can be guilt free
the words tasted like honey, but as time had come and gone
the fog cleared from the sky and thats when i found so much wrong
a hypocrite to say the least, like a preacher who’s un biblical
a mind ever so cynical red eyes revealed the criminal
you ask me for forgiveness, we need distance its not fixable
I’m human not invincible, love shouldn’t be conditional
sweet child hear me loudly when i say this is my past
understand that am recapping, but never going back
you are precious, you are fragile, you're an angel in disguise
so please only look through, but never adapt my eyes
his fist replaced his tongue, i was beaten i was bruised
i was fighting so unfairly, all while knowing i would lose
using your words as your weapon, i had nothing left to prove
you would slander you would slaughter i was bothered by the abuse
but more so i was confused, i wanted out i wanted gone
but you told me it’d be wrong when god had planned it for so long
you told me id regret it if i left where i belong
but a house with broken egg shells will never be a home

-Madeline Carnahan

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