Well, so few things have happened this summer the way I have planned them. It's been a balance between honoring what is there and trying to have some semblance of order. I really don't like feeling like I'm "putting out fires" but those fires offer opportunity for reflection, growth, and ultimately transformation. I think when I live in my "art head" transformation is so lovely and based on materials...you simply take something and mold something else out of it. When one is washing dirty wool, one knows the wool will come clean and one can dream about all the possibilities in the process...will I felt this, spin this, fluff this? But when one is dealing with shadow sides of relationships, the possibilities aren't so clear, and those possiblities can cast their own shadows. The transformation is there and it is uncomfortable and it is inevitable. How will my marriage be molded and what will that look like?
I have to remind myself that this work is all part of the creative process. Chaos begs to be ordered, and order begs to be shaken up. That is how the cycle works, endlessly. Sometimes it is a wild swinging, sometimes a gentle ebb and flow.
I was speaking with a friend about temperaments, and she mentioned that sanguines really need to work on their phlegma. I am overwhelmingly sanguine...I float on feelings, I leave trails everywhere I go, I start projects all the time that I have little will to finish. Phlegmatics tend to be steady, ritualistic, patient, loyal. So with that in mind, I am rethinking rhythm, yet again. With a return to full time work, I definitely need to keep order in my home, to support myself and my new first grader and my 20-month-old who will be with a sitter.
Here is my plan. We normally get up at 6:30. My leisurely mornings will be gone since we will have to get ready for school. So, to help with breakfast, I am going to implement a breakfast and even lunch meal plan like we do for dinner. Monday will be egg day, Tuesdays cereal day (hot cereal too) Wednesdays will be muffin day, Thursdays will be egg day again, and Fridays will be French Toast.
I have found that morning tends to be a time that we are more active. Our morning activities can include feeding the animals, taking out compost, folding laundry, washing breakfast dishes. As Davis gets bigger he can do some heavy work. I have to find something heavy for him to push around, or put his impulse to throw to work. I thought about doing less active, more indoor type activities after school, like baking or crafting. That wil give us a little out-breath right after school and time to connect and talk about our day. And of course, snack.
I think if I settle into a nice rhythm, I won't be so overwhelmed by all my new responsibilities. And, the meal rhythm helps take the "charge" out of meals. Serena is so incredibly picky, and she is also asserting her independence- normal for a 6 year old. She can help implement the meal plan and she won't argue with a rhythm.
I probably wouldn't argue with a rhythm either! But I might wrestle.