I would like to, in this week leading up to Valentine's Day, reclaim the meaning of the phrase "making love". Somewhere along the way it became a lovely way to describe sexual relations. But can't we make love in any situation? Don't we have the ability to conjure up feelings of warmth and goodwill in any moment? Can we agree that making love is much more than a physical act? We are making love when we send off a check with gratitude in our hearts. We make love when we smile at the clerk who looks like he is having a bad day. We make love when we smell the tops of our babies' heads, and never stop loving that smell even as they grow. We make love when our partner comes home grumpy, and we give him (or her) a hug. We make love when we really, really want to respond with irritation in our voices when we patiently answer the same question we've already been asked....over and over. Or whatever trigger du jour has come upon us...we make love when we leave the room before we say something unkind. I see people making love all the time. People will often stop to help a driver whose car has been broken down. There is a mother in parent-child class who lovingly carries her toddler and a bag of dozens of eggs from her own chickens every week to class (well, when the chickens lay!) She shares all those eggs with us. I have so many stories of instances where love has been passed along, both witnessed and experienced.
I have a friend who told me that the way to feel in love with someone is to act like you are in love with them. Somehow, doing the deed helps create the feeling. I just love that, and when I remember to, I can even act the part accordingly. I don't have to feel in love to be in the state of love....it takes the love I give to a place outside of myself and my own self-pity and worries....to a place where I am reminded of the gifts I have in my children, my husband, my family, my friends, the people whose circles touch mine.
Group hug, anyone? (sorry...I couldn't resist! A little loving humor....we can just smell a baby's head instead!)