Saturday, January 23, 2010

Spin cycle

One thing I have not written about on my blog is my moon cycle. That Red Girl takes up quite a bit of my energy...actually, a great bit of my energy, because she is the drum, the heartbeat of my body and my spirit. She has been gone a long time, and this time was gone 652 days, according to cyclespage.
 I was singing her praises a few days ago, because I was in the throes of fertility and life is good, very good, on all fronts, when a woman is fertile. A fertile woman is creative, energetic, in her body, full of hope. For me, creativity came on strong this cycle, only my second cycle since Davis was born (yay breastfeeding!) I was, and still am, literally swimming in ideas, and it feels like big things are happening, that I have something, some ideas to contribute to this world. But woe begins when fertility is over, and the hard introspection begins, and I must come back down to earth, get on my knees and dig into this soil, fish around, and figure out which parts need nurturing, which parts need turning, which ideas need nurturing. I turn to intuition, listen to still, small voices, find themes in everyday conversations, meditate on these things, try to learn what I am supposed to learn. In the meantime, my husband makes a mark on the calendar for the days he can do nothing right. Poor guy...he didn't know what a mood was until he moved into a house full of women.
At any rate, I am cycling again, and this brings me bliss thinking that in my body, I am given four living seasons in one month. This gives me grief as well, knowing that in my body, I am given headaches and depression and lethargy and anger as well. And also a spiritual lesson...a theme.
My theme this cycle seems to be self-care, which is hard for someone as codependent as me. (sure honey, you go on, I'll take care of it, don't mind me....)
Yet today, I managed to get out of my house, left it messy, left other things undone, and for the first time in a long, long while I went a-visiting with women friends. Oh, what a wellspring of nurturing...what a joy and pleasure to be in the company of wonderful to share burdens and secrets and make big plans, to speak the same language, to appreciate each other's art, to admire each other's children, to watch another woman cook, to be fed just by being in their presence.
I read about a study on longevity and the study concluded that married men lived longer, and married women did not. But, if a woman had a group of close women friends, she lived longer. This day served as a good is most important to nurture your friendships...vital, even.
Welcome back, Red Girl, welcome back to nurturing friends. How lovely to be in these circles!

1 comment:

  1. what a wonderful and beautifully written post.


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