Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Groaning and moaning for 2009

Yes, our holidays were lovely...very lovely. I found myself in a crazy "making" mode....working up enough steam to complete most of my sewing projects and only 2 of my knitting projects that were meant for gifts. I did not heed any of my own advice, and did not take care of myself very well. Now, in the post-Christmas blitz of visiting and unwrapping and traveling, I find myself very down. I told myself I wasn't going to blog when I was depressed, but you know, sometimes I feel compelled to share my humanity, and offer a glimpse into the "unhappy" spaces. I just can't pretend I have it together all the time. Perhaps it will comfort someone out there knowing they are not the only ones. Holidays are notorious for bringing out issues. I find myself in a room full of dragons...they have caught me unawares, they have taken my dignity, and now I must suffer the consequences....go into the loneliness...lick my wounds...regroup somehow...and most importantly, clean my house.
Part of me feels like this is the gift of the 2009 holidays to me...to go to that dark place and come out of it illumined. I keep telling myself to breathe through any bolus of feelings I have as if it were a contraction in childbirth. This seems to help. It's all good in the end, right?
At any rate, I do feel gratitude to all of you who stop by this space. I wish you the most blessed of holidays and happiness(whatever that means!)  in the new year. Ok, then, I wish you inner peace in the midst of the storms.
In love and peace and joy, Angie

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're struggling. I think we all have those moments. Mine hit three days before Christmas, and I really thought I was losing my mind! I hope this passes quickly for you.

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  2. I hear ya. Sending good juju your way. :-) I think your blog posts are *always* inspiring. It's hard for my melancholic self to not blog when I'm down. Maybe I should start blogging at frustrateddepressed. :-) You are such a beautiful soul. Hope you feel better soon.

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  3. Thank you both. I do appreciate your words! Today is a bit better, after getting a little more sleep.

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