Thursday, July 2, 2009

Am I Crazy?

I sure feel crazy these days. This is more of a venting-type writing.
I am trying to start a business and make my making bona-fide. I took on a teaching gig the week after vacation (this week) and went into it feeling unprepared. I needed a vacation from vacation! Now I am reaping what I've sowed, and making bad decisions. This class, where I am teaching only an hour each day, has taken so much time and prep work that I did not anticipate and has taken some of the fun out of it. AND I am simultaneously preparing for an art fair while trying to juggle breastfeeding and the needs of my other children. AND so many random things keep happening...car troubles, stove fires, paperwork, illness...
It's been overwhelming. I want to enjoy summer and enjoy raising my children.
My father-in-law once told me, "you're not making money if you are working by the hour." Boy, is that ever true! So there I go making another job for myself that is working by the hour. Somehow I hope to creatively transform the opportunities given into something that brings me income without me having to be tied to making a bunch of stuff. Because I do enjoy making, I don't want to take all the fun out of it by becoming a producer....my one-man factory. The whole point is to have more time.

2 comments:

  1. It's a hard balance, and I'm still trying to find that. I so need to be writing and I want to do it on a professional level as a career, and I don't want to wait any longer before taking the leap. Balancing career goals with motherhood is so hard and can be very frustrating. You aren't alone here. I've been feeling pretty crazy myself.

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  2. It's a crazy time! I am currently pretty fed up with my paid by the hour job. I feel like it's a waiting room...and that is an awful feeling.

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