Thursday, May 21, 2009

Creating does not equal producing

My husband is one of the most creative people I know. I have probably said that before, but it is true. Now, what is interesting about that remark is that he doesn't sing, play an instrument, make anything, or write anything. He reads a lot and is a teacher and a healer. His creativity comes from the way he sees things...he completely gets parenting creatively...having a story in the moment, looking at things from all sides.
I was contemplating this the other day when the weight of my ideas forced down the joy of creating. You know, when you have so many wonderful ideas and not enough time to execute them. I keep telling myself that I'm in a baby year, that time will come, that I need to re-prioritize, that sitting and nursing means sitting and thinking...dreaming...planning. And I get the feeling that happens when Davis latches on, my milk lets down, and then he is distracted and has to flirt with someone else: all dressed up and nowhere to go. What I have to remind myself is that creating does not mean producing. The creative process demands that we not haphazardly regurgitate, but that we incubate. The product of our inventiveness, the gift of our process, the ideas held dearly and allowed to be birthed slowly....
Only then can we come to terms of the truth of who we are, and then that is joyfully expressed.
This is apparently such a struggle for me since I've blogged about it before. I think it is the struggle of every spring, indeed, of every woman. We are given a natural, bodily cycle of creativity....it is in our very bodies to bear the rhythm of life.
Of course, this all ties into what the next phase of my life is going to be, what this blog is going to be. I had visions of all the art I would make to put on this blog. I was going to be so prolific. But that kind of self-deception gets addictive, and consequently, old...real fast. I don't need any more reasons to doubt myself. I simply need to be in the moment.
Thank you for reading these thoughts. They are written very much like a journal, and I don't fuss over it too much. I do enjoy reading your blogs too, and it gives me hope to have those connections.

4 comments:

  1. Don't forget, while you nurse, you are also creating a life, a relationship, and milk! - Jen

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  2. It amazes me the amount of ideas and plans I have when I cant take the time to produce those objects..I've starteed to keep note books and jotdown, sketch the ideas out in full description....it may never be created but, it often leads toother things being made....not sure if that made sence but! I know what I mean!

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  3. Great points. I'm in an uber urgent feeling stage where I have all these things I want to do, aside from mother my girls. It is making chaos in otherwise peaceful days. I needed to hear these words. It makes me feel like I don't have to finish my novel in the next week and it might be a better work if I don't.

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